No Expectations

Colossians 3:1-4

"If then you have been raised with Christ, 

seek the things that are above, where Christ is, 

seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things 

that are above, not on things that are on earth. 

For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. 

When Christ who is your life appears, then you also 

will appear with him in glory."

No Expectations. That’s what my counselor told me. Work at having no expectations of other people, especially family members. Let’s face it; we all have expectations whether we are totally conscience of it or not. The problem with expectations is that when they are not met, we are disappointed, hurt, sad, crushed, dejected, or have a whole host of other feelings we’d rather not experience. If we are hoping for a phone call, letter, gift, or visit and it doesn't happen, this can trigger a downward spiral emotionally, spiritually, and even physically. However, when we don’t have any expectations, then when any positive thing happens we are pleasantly surprised or we can just enjoy another person’s company in a relaxed, no-strings-attached manner. 

Expectations are different from requests. In this context, expectations are usually unspoken desires or dreams – things we hope others will say or do. Requests are verbalized and give the other person the opportunity to respond. In my experience, expectations are those unspoken desires that we think the other person should intuitively know or comprehend. Very often they don’t and how can they if they don’t know what we are thinking or hoping? It’s not realistic. 

The Christmas season can be a time of great expectation which can lead to great disappointment. This Christmas and throughout 2017, try letting go of unspoken expectations. Sit down and write out those expectations, then choose what is really important to you and turn it into a spoken request. This can be difficult and scary. If it is too hard to verbalize your expectations, try writing a letter; otherwise, put them out of your mind. When we don’t carry so many unmet expectations, a huge mental and emotional weight drops off and we are truly able to enjoy our family, friends, and special occasions without the hurt, disappointment, and depression. Not only do we feel lighter and freer, but the whole atmosphere around us loses tension. 

As I am learning the principle of “no expectations” and how to verbalize what I need or want, the tendency to be hurt is replaced with richer, more open, and relaxed relationships. What I'm finding is that my previous desires are often being met or were selfish and unnecessary, even silly. In essence, I am releasing those I love to be who they are, not who I want them to be. I am learning to ask for the real assistance I need, but to let go of the unrealistic expectations that rob me of a lot of joy, peace, and contentment. I'm learning to look more and more to God who will supply my every need. (Philippians 4:19)

The above passage from Colossians reminds us to set our hearts on things above where Christ is and to set our minds on things above also. Christmas is the Christian’s remembrance and celebration of the birth of Jesus Christ, God’s Son, our Savior and Lord. Jesus was the greatest gift ever given and the greatest sacrifice of our Heavenly Father. He came so that we have the opportunity to one day live with Him above. All we have to do is ask. Ask forgiveness for the wrongs we have done and accept that Jesus paid the ultimate price, His life, to bridge the gap between an unholy people and The One and Only Holy God.

My prayer for you this Christmas is that you will fill your heart and mind with thoughts of Jesus and why He left His home above to live among us. 

In John 14:27 Jesus says 

"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. 

I do not give to you as the world gives. 

Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." 

Merry Christmas!

Tip: Read the Gospel of John and the book of Colossians.